6 reasons NOT to go clubbing

1. my ears are ringing for 48 hours afterwards.
2. my feet are bashed up like no other. damn you people for spilling your drinks everywhere and stepping on my awesome stilettos.
3. i spend 2 hours getting ready to have that all undone in a matter of minutes. sweat, alcohol, water, glass, smoke etc ... all mixed together to ruin my handiwork.
4. one word but plural in so many ways: creepers.
5. dancing does NOT equate to grinding your butt into mine, grinding your crotch into my bum, pushing and shoving and screaming at every damn song "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG", dropping your Cosmopolitan on the ground and walking away, pushing through the crowds in order to get to the washrooms in order to take more "i'm a hoe" pics with your girlfriends, harsh PDA'ing with your boyfriend (to be) with no regard to the general public (or those in a 10cm radius around you)....

and last but not least
6. every time AFTER I go home AFTER I leave the club, I inevitably ask myself "WHY did I go in the first place?!?!?" cuz i always end up finding some major flaw in the grand plan of the night.
true story insertion:
was at a club in TO and was ... rather blandly dancing. random nerd walks up and tries to dance with me and i politely decline ... numerous declines later, he finally asks, 'WHY do you even come to a club when you DON'T even dance with guys? *aka - grindage*' To which I replied, 'I ask myself that all the time. Then again, I do NOT come to clubs to dance with guys like you nor do I come to the club to 'grind' cuz that's .. not .. dancing.'
But yah, though some people told me I probs shouldn't have talked to him, he brought up a good point. Why go when I feel so oddly outta place? Plus, everyone thinks I'm a snob cuz I just end up inevitably bored and critical.

i've resolved that i am doomed the rest of my days to live like i am 80 and thus, go to bed at 9pm.
sadly (?), that makes me ... quite excited =)