Girl likes Boy
In today's post (of hopefully, many more to come in this series), I contemplate the question: What do girls do when they suddenly and strangely become attracted to a particular boy?

Situation #1: The Boy "Friend"
Girl and Boy have been friends for a long time -- well, seemingly long time ranging from a few months to years. Boy knows Girl so well that he barely flinches when milk comes spewing out of her nose after he makes her laugh. Girl knows Boy so well that she's considered as "one of the guys" whenever she comes over (which is frequent) to his house or whenever (which is also frequent) she hangs out with his friends (who are actually, her friends too). Boy and Girl have endured numerous teasings and rumors "Ooh, are you going out with him?" "You and her SO have something going on!" but have remained, nevertheless, just friends.
But somehow, along the way, something happens. Maybe it was that time he walked her home and they talked about relationships and what they looked for in their partners. Or maybe it was that time she drove all over town and called up a million of her friends just to acquire the newest xbox game for him. Maybe it just happened and slowly, she begins to see him as more than "just" her friend.
And then it all slowly unravels. What does she do now? Does she continue to act the same towards him? But she can't when now, everytime she sees him, butterflies arise uncomfortably in her stomach and she ends up feeling like a huge fake around him. Does she tell him? Does she pretend like this is a passing phase? But she can't - she can't stop thinking about him in "that" way and she knows, somehow intutitively, that he would treat her right if something did eventuate. Or didn't.

Remedy #1 - DENIAL
Girl can refuse her feelings. Hey, living in denial never hurt anyone, right?
false.
Denial is always the first step and then you gotta end up eventually on the road to acceptance and remedy.
But, back to remedy #1 (which I don't think is really a remedy but more a cop-out method). Deny feelings and pretend nothing is going on. Continue to chill with Boy-Friend and struggle internally with feelings.
More or less two things will happen. Feelings will die away (thank God you say!) OR you will be so eaten up inside by these feelings that you will resort to Remedy #2 (see below).

Remedy #2 - DTR
Confrontation. Ok, that's a strong word so lemme rephrase with the proper term, "the talk". Funnily enough, a guy friend was walking me home in September and he was talking about Christian relationships and what Christian guys do when they want to "progress" further with a girl. I cringe at the usage of this acronym but I find it is true with regards to certain types of guys.
DTR = Defining the Relationship
So Girl can do DTR and sit down Boy one day to begin the conversation with "So ... don't freak out or anything but I have to tell you something" (somehow, I envision those opening lines to also be applicable to "Mom and Dad, don't freak out but I'm failing in school". Anyway ....)
Girl DTR's with Boy - actually more like, she lays out her cards on the table. she defines where she is at with him whilst he sits there in silence, perhaps a little bit stunned - perhaps a little bit relieved because who knows, maybe he's been going through the same thing and was too afraid that she didn't feel the same way or perhaps he's now more than ever seriously disturbed.
A million of thoughts run through his head after she drops the bomb on him of actually liking him ... "Crap, now what? I can't chill with her anymore cuz now, she likes me."

Regardless, the Girl has thrown the ball into the Boy's court and it's now up to the Boy to do something.
A word to the wise (well, a word to Boys out there), if this situation happens to you (Girl DTR's), please do not leave the girl hanging. It's possibly the most painful and selfish thing to do to a girl by leaving her out in the cold. Granted, I understand everyone would need a certain amount of time to think over things, especially after getting a DTR from a close friend, but it's 10x worse for you, the guy, to tell her, "Well ... I'm going to think about this" and then never talk to her ever again. You leave her hurt and confused and eventually, girls turn out more or less bitter and mistrustful towards future relationships.

But from my observations, I've seen girls (and boys alike) jump to remedy #2 with little thought or discretion. I rarely have seen Remedy #2 to be an actual Remedy but moreso, a Recipe for Disaester. Inevitably, the girl (or boy) has jumped the gun too soon and rather than picking the right time *and place* to talk to boy/girl friend, they rush eagerly in and most of the time, spill too much of their heart and soul to said boy/girl. Obviously, the receiver of such 'good' news ends up either 1) turned off and extremely uncomfortable by being told all these mushy gooshy feelings 2) elated ... (i've never seen #2 come into fruition). Regardless, I caution using Remedy #2 without a lot of thought, advice and prayer because by resorting to Remedy #2, you are basically shooting your friendship in the head with the Boy/Girl. There's no turning back after Remedy #2.

Remedy #3: Discretion & Patience
Before talking to the Boy, spend some time in thought over the truth of your feelings. Granted, feelings are irrational but somewhere, there lies a deeper rationality behind the rise of feelings. I know a lot of girls have The List*. Sit down and look over The List and see if Boy matches up. And it's okay if he's not very good looking. Well, that's up to Girl to decide that.
After spending time in thought and discovering whether or not these feelings are true (as in, should be pursued or just to be let go to die), let some time pass before you do something about your feelings (that is if you opt for not killing off the feelings).
-- how to kill off feelings
no sufficient advice or method has been recorded as of yet. but, i must say from past experience and firsthand observation, feelings die eventually when you figure out that you do need to let go. it all starts with realization and acceptance and sooner or later, it all falls in place (as in, all the feelings die off eventually).

Back to the whole "doing something" with the Boy-Friend. If the Girl is wise enough and mature enough, she won't do anything about it. I can already hear howls of protest from a lot of women out there. "What do you mean, NOT do anything? The Girl MUST tell the Boy her feelings! How is he ever to know?"
Perhaps I'm one for Divine Serendipity or whatever one may call it, but I'm one for "If it's meant to be, it'll happen".

Girl is in good position already with Boy. She's good friends with him and Boy knows her well enough that (hopefully) he'll see the change in her behavior (as much as women try to act all normal after the sudden rising of feelings, we DON'T ever achieve this. it's impossible!) and he'll (hopefully) do something about it. What that exactly entails is beyond my imagination, perhaps some Boy can reply to this and explain to us Girls what Boys do when they notice their bestest Girl friend showing signs of liking them.

Call me traditional but I like it when Boy takes initiative. And, if Boy fails to notice all the signs Girl is showing him then ... Girl, you're better off without this Boy as your boyfriend. There's a line between being faintly oblivious and being an obvious idiot. If Boy, you fail to see the bestest Girl standing in front of you, then go stick your head in the toilet and give yourself a good washing. And Girl, there's also a line between waiting patiently and being just plain stupid.

Wait patiently. If it's meant to be, it'll happen (aka: Boy will like you back and hopefully, it'll be happily ever after)
Don't be stupid. If he fails time and time again to see the subtle (oh yes, Girls I warn you: do NOT overtly put yourself out there with Boys) signs that you like him, move on.

Easier said than done but until tomorrow's post: What to do when HE doesn't get it.